Im scaerd to be happy i feel like its impossible....?

Okay to start things off, excuse my language my life is complete ****. Only bad things happen to me I never feel like anything good can happen to me ths week things are turning out as miracles for me Im so happy that I start to think "what if this happens to me.." or "I have feeling this and that will happen to me" I always doubt myself when good things happen to me because Im so use to the dull drama filled,anxious and crazy life. Is this normal please someone give me some advice I kow im being anxious and paranoid but i cant seem to control my thoughts ughh.... and no rude comments I dont give a **** excuse my language again but really save it for someone who cares!......thanks *sigh*